As parents and teachers, one of our biggest challenges is helping children follow through on their commitments and avoid quitting, especially when they tend to quit easily or struggle to finish what they start. Whether it's a new sport, a school project, or even daily chores, children often find it difficult to stay focused and see things through to the end.
Creating contracts and setting clear expectations with your child is a powerful tool that can make a significant difference. This simple strategy not only helps them understand what’s expected of them but also empowers them to take ownership of their commitments, ultimately leading to greater perseverance and success.
Why Contracts and Expectations Work
1. Provides Structure and Clarity Children thrive when they know exactly what is expected of them. A contract clearly outlines the responsibilities, effort, and timeframe involved in a new task or activity. This structure helps reduce anxiety and confusion, making it easier for your child to stay on track.
2. Encourages Ownership and Accountability When children are involved in creating their own contracts, they feel a sense of ownership over the process. They’re more likely to stick with their commitments because they helped establish the rules and expectations. This empowerment fosters a greater sense of responsibility and accountability.
3. Helps Identify and Overcome Obstacles Part of the contract process involves anticipating potential challenges and brainstorming solutions ahead of time. Whether it’s managing time, dealing with frustration, or facing social pressures, having a plan in place makes it easier for your child to navigate obstacles without giving up.
4. Builds Essential Life Skills Contracts and expectations aren’t just about getting your child to finish a project or stick with a sport. They’re about teaching them valuable life skills such as goal-setting, problem-solving, time management, and perseverance. These skills will serve them well throughout their lives.
How to Create an Effective Contract with Your Child
Creating a contract with your child is straightforward and can be adapted to any task or activity. Here’s how you can get started:
1. Define the Task or Activity Clearly outline what your child is committing to. Whether it’s playing a sport, completing a school project, or doing daily chores, make sure the task is well-defined.
2. Set Clear Expectations Work with your child to establish realistic and specific expectations. This includes defining the level of effort required, how often they need to participate, and balancing this new commitment with other responsibilities like schoolwork.
3. Identify Potential Obstacles and Solutions Discuss possible challenges your child might face and work together to develop strategies to overcome them. This could include managing time, dealing with frustration, or handling social pressures like teasing or self-doubt.
4. Agree on a Fair Duration Decide on a reasonable timeframe for your child to commit to the task. For example, if they’re trying a new sport, agree that they’ll participate for the entire season. This allows enough time to genuinely assess whether they enjoy it and want to continue.
5. Review and Sign the Contract Once everything is outlined, review the contract together and have your child sign it. This formalizes the commitment and reinforces their sense of responsibility.
Example: A Soccer Contract
Let’s say your child, Alex, wants to try out for the soccer team. Here’s a sample contract you might create together:
Task: Join and participate in the soccer team for the upcoming season.
Expectations:
Attend all practices and games unless there’s an emergency or illness.
Focus on improving specific skills during each practice.
Maintain schoolwork and complete chores before soccer activities.
Potential Obstacles & Solutions:
Obstacle: Feeling too tired for practice.
Solution: Establish a bedtime routine to ensure adequate rest.
Obstacle: Struggling with new soccer skills.
Solution: Ask the coach for extra tips or practice with a family member.
Obstacle: Being teased by other players.
Solution: Focus on personal improvement, and talk to a trusted adult if teasing becomes an issue.
Duration:
Start Date: [Insert date]
End Date: Participate until the end of the season on [Insert date].
Signatures:
Alex
Parent/Guardian
Download a FREE printable copy HERE.
In Summary
Creating contracts and setting clear expectations are invaluable tools for helping children overcome the habit of quitting. By providing structure, fostering ownership, and preparing for challenges, you empower your child to stay committed and develop the perseverance needed to succeed. This approach not only helps them achieve their goals in the short term but also builds critical life skills that will benefit them in the long run.
If your child has a history of starting things and not finishing them, consider introducing contracts into your routine. It’s a simple yet powerful way to help them stay focused, see the bigger picture, and ultimately succeed in whatever they set out to do.
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