Have you ever felt like you're trying to be someone you're not just to make others like you? You're not alone! We often find ourselves tangled in the sticky web of people-pleasing.
What is people-pleasing? It's the art of manipulating others' feelings to gain their affection, all in the pursuit of feeling good about ourselves. Yet, in this process, we end up wearing a mask driven by fear. We become someone we're not, hoping that this facade will be embraced by others. However, deep down, we know it's not genuine. It's exhausting, and ironically, even if others accept this false version, we're left grappling with a sense of inadequacy and self-disdain. Moreover, there's no guarantee that the other person will respond the way we anticipated, adding to the mounting frustration.
The funny thing is, we people please so others can like us so that we can connect to others, and the opposite happens. We end up not liking ourselves either. We can only pretend for so long. Nobody wants to hang out with someone they don't trust. Did you know you don't need anyone's approval to start liking yourself? Or to know that you are enough? Your feelings are not created by other's actions but by the interpretation you give to their actions.
Let me share a story that might sound familiar.
Meet Sarah, a "superwoman" juggling work, family, and life's curveballs. One day, her neighbor, Mrs. Johnson, asks her to cook for a family in need. Sounds simple, right? But here's the twist - Sarah's schedule is jam-packed, and adding another task seems impossible.
At first, Sarah hesitates to say no. She worries Mrs. Johnson might think she's selfish or doesn't care. Can you relate? That's the trap of people-pleasing! But then, something clicks in Sarah's mind.
She realizes that saying no doesn't make her any less caring. It's the fear of not being enough that's pushing her to say yes. So, she gathers her courage and tells Mrs. Johnson the truth. She explains how stretched thin she already is, and to her surprise, Mrs. Johnson gets it! She respects Sarah's honesty and doesn't judge her.
Sarah's story isn't uncommon. Many women like her, including me, sometimes grapple with the pressure to please others. That constant fear of not being good enough drives us to be someone we're not.
But here's the secret: you're enough just as you are! Embracing authenticity requires us to acknowledge that the validation of others does not define our worth. It urges us to embrace our vulnerabilities and imperfections, paving the way for genuine connections and meaningful relationships. By allowing ourselves to be seen for who we truly are, we foster deeper connections and embark on a journey towards self-acceptance and self-love. So, let's start today by being unapologetically ourselves and celebrating the beauty of our authentic selves.